Thursday, October 13, 2011


I want to be Martha Stewart. 

Even prison Martha Stewart seemed to have it all together arranging knitting circles and craft times while keeping up with her daily Prison chores.  Making herself productive and doing the best with a bad situation.  I'm sure Martha had the best decorated and cleanest cell in the prison.

Let's be clear here...
I don't want to be Prison Martha.  I'd prefer to be Free Martha.  But either way, I want to be Martha.

I want to have it all together. 

I want to have a sparkling clean house that is so organized when someone asks where their shoes are we don't spend 20 minutes looking under furniture in every room.  Because if I was Martha I'd know where the shoes are.  They are in their proper location, you know that space we took the time to organize and designate for shoes?  And my family, so dutiful and always cooperative, of course put their shoes right in that perfect little space, so they wouldn't have even ever asked .  They would have known where to look because Martha's family would always listen.

I want to come home from work at night and glide into my kitchen to open my fridge and know exactly what will be for dinner.  Because if I was Martha I'd have a meal plan of course!  I'd be a whiz in the kitchen who doesn't make a mess, and that several course meal would be whipped up in a breeze.  My family would sit down for dinner together and no one would complain.  The food would be fantastic and the table manners would be perfect.

After dinner, clean up would be a breeze.  Because if I was Martha my family would get up from the table and take their dishes to the sink.  I wouldn't need to tell my boys to go do their homework, no, this would have been completed hours ago and neatly tucked back into their bags ready for the following day.  There would be no fights, there would be no arguing, there would simply be peace because Martha would not have anything less.  

I would quickly make up batches of homemade cookies for that PTO bake sale the next day, no store bought for Martha.  They would be light and fluffy, not burnt and crunchy and all of the mom's would want my recipe.  I'd be the envy of the mom's with my fantastic baking and great ideas.

I would sit and knit or make a quilt with all of my spare time.  Because if I was Martha my beautiful, pristine, organized home would run so efficiently I would have plenty of spare time to do the things I love.  Not only would I do what I enjoy, every project would turn out perfectly or better than planned. 

The weekends would come with dinner parties and lots of friends.  People would flock to our home and be honored to be invited.  They would marvel at the beauty of my well decorated home, ask for tips to be so productive and tell me I am so creative; secretly wishing that they were me.  Because if I were Martha I'd have it all under control.

I am not Martha.

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